Many of my fellow Americans enjoy the sport of football and their professional and collegiate leagues, the NFL and the NCAA. If you’re like me, you often opine that you could run the team, the program, or the franchise in immeasurably greater fashion than the millionaire chowderheads currently employed to do so. If you’re also like me, you play football video games and, oddly, learn quite a bit about the game from them. That, however, is usually as far as this type of thing goes.

Unlike me, however, Christopher McComas decided that all of these things have somehow merged together to make him the perfect fit for the University of North Dakota’s vacant head football coach position. Having noticed on Twitter that UND was looking for a new head coach, he submitted his resume. His plan, such as it is, is undeniably interesting:

My football philosophy is basically an attacking one. We’re going to give AIR RAID a whole new definition. Theoretically how many times do you think a team can pass in a game? Challenge accepted. We’re going 5 wide, chucking the pigskin all over the place. Never punt. Onside every time. Chip Kelly will be calling me to learn my offense. We will put on an exciting brand of football, we will pack them into the Alerus Center night in and night out, go ahead and blow the roof off the place and add about 35,000 seats to that place.

To many of us, this philosophy is quite familiar. We often see it employed by every ten-year-old we play in an online version of Madden or NCAA Football. This, as McComas 9 page PowerPoint he sent to UND Athletic Director Brian Faison to justify his hiring, is so recognizable for a reason.

Now, I can’t say for sure that Mr. Faison will find these video game credentials as underwhelming as I (Thurman Thomas a God? Even God couldn’t do that!), but it seems quite unlikely that they’ll get McComas hired. Also, his plan to be good by “winning a lot of games” seems more like a goal than a plan, but what do I know?

Either way, it’s useful to remember as we head into the holiday season and the TV glow is full of sports (for some of us, at least), there’s always someone better out there, even if that means being better at foolishly stating how great we’d be if we were in charge of our favorite teams.

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